I stood there, and watched it all wash away from me.  Come to think of it, there wasn’t much that I did live for… I mean, what is keeping me alive despite this belief
society tries to impose upon me that it is some kind of wonderful gift to be alive?  I suppose, if there was some one reason why I was still alive, it was my pessimistic
nature… I guess that’s pretty ironic… but I believe that when you die, there’s no mysterious afterlife… you die, you turn to dust.  Thinking anything else is just
mankind trying to make the best of a hopeless situation.  And isn’t that what religion is anyway?
 
But there was her… it would be selfish to say she was the reason I lived… after all, what kind of pressure would that put on her?  But she really was something that
made you wake up and think, “Fuck, I’m alive… it’s good to be alive… I hope I see her today…” Is there anything more that people need?  I lived, and she lived.
She was like some magnetic puzzle that was bound to never be solved… but she saved a piece of herself just for me.  No one I have ever known has had that
enigmatic, romantic, sensuous quality quite like she did.  And no one ever would, I suspected.  And what made her all the more enticing was that she gave me her
soul.  And no one would ever, no matter what, let me have a glimpse of anything that intense.
 
I couldn’t help but think of all those times we never shared.  Time spent together was undoubtedly amazing… but the times we didn’t spend together… when we just
thought of each other, wrote songs and poems and wonderful letters, times when we fought and life was tragic… and we’d spend out time not talking, just thinking
about how the other completed us…  We weren’t really two people… we were one person.  Two people, one soul.
 
But she was gone now… does that make me half a person?  Where do we go from here?  I used to know her.  I used to know her so well.  There were times when
I thought she was inside my head, knowing all the intricate, unexplainable thoughts I had.  And not only did she know my thoughts, she understood them, and that’s
so much more important.  But nothing lasts forever… I remember, when she asked me once, “Do you think we’ll be together forever?” I couldn’t help but
disappoint, and replied, “Forever is a long time… longer that I’ve got.”  I remember how she reacted, such fury, such vitality, such life…
 
But nothing lasts forever.  You die, you turn to dust.
 
And as they lowered her into the ground, I couldn’t help but weep, not for what I was going to miss in the future… but now all those times we were apart are going
to last for my entire lifetime.  And there is no light at the end of my tunnel.
 
:~(