Things I miss:
 

• The times when I could enthrall you, no matter what I talked about.
• The times when I could tell you anything, and you would care.
• The times you cared.
• The time you called me on a mobile phone "just because you missed me", even though you would get in trouble for it.
• When words meant something.
• When feelings were felt.
• Falling asleep feeling "full" and like I had something good inside of me.
• Knowing you would think of me.
• Thinking of you and feeling good inside.
• Songs telling my life story in such a romantic manner.
• Counting down the hours and minutes until I knew I would speak to you next.
• Getting something in the mail unannounced.
• Getting something in the mail - at all.
• That "glowing" feeling when the phone rang.
• Feeling like I meant something to someone.

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Things I want to wither and die:

• Knowing I'm boring to you, no matter what I say and feel.
• Calling you and knowing it's like hitting myself in the face.
• Feeling sick when the phone rings.
• Thoughts of you with other guys.
• Thoughts of fidelity and faithfulness and the whole mirage of "you and I" fading and disappearing.
• Not knowing.
• Feeling stupid.
• Feeling used.
• Never hearing from you.
• Getting that "lost" feeling when walking to the mailbox.
• Songs being my ideology.
• Knowing the more I lose you, the less I feel like I am something special, and the more I feel like a fucked up cliché.