Personal lows:

• Crying in front of others.
• Waking up defeated because during a wonderful dream, it was realised that it was not, in fact, reality.
• Clawing at my eyes because I hate what I see.
• Hitting myself to punish myself [why? it shall be revealed soon].
• Running from problems hoping they won't follow me.
• Turning away friends in order to give myself an excuse.
• Issuing threats that I know are false.
• Annoying/disturbing/frustrating others in order to be beaten up.
• Trying to write bad stories/poetry/music because it's the only way to be expressive.
• Wanting to be wanted.
• Every problem is a personal defeat.
• Doing everyday things like cleaning, dressing, showering, and suddenly realise you are crying, and not knowing why.
• Smiling when people are around because it's easier that way.
• Planning reunions that will not occur.
• Soaking up my own misery.
• Planning events I know I won't follow through with.