The first:
it worries me that a) you're going to her b) regardless of whether she wants you in her life or not

The second:
refer to the stolen poems of Chuck@204
I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love

in summary...
"i don't want to be in love. i need to hate because it's deserved.  but i don't and i love and it makes me feel weak."
"don't hate."
"then what? apathy is worse than hate.  at least hate is emotion."
"love.  just don't let it consume you."